Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
