I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
