Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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