When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Still dying that you shit outside
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
