his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He did a backflip because drugs
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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