She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I wish you could order shots online.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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