I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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