my mouth tastes like poor choices
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
