i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize