omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
