He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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