Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
