my mouth tastes like poor choices
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
