Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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