dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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