Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
