Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
