my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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