Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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