i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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