Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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