Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
