Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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