I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
