Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
