your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Randomize
