Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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