at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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