I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
