She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My liver just had a heart attack.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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