remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
They have beer where we have blood.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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