Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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