My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
