shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
