but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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