did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
