Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
