Quick, to the slutcave!
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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