She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
