He is an equal opportunity slut.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
