Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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