meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
