i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize