Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
