i permit you to call me
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
