she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
