Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
