this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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