I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
