Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just gift wrapped bread.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Panties = found
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