**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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