i barfeds in our rink
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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