So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
