So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
