the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
