If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
