We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
