Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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