ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
