went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
