there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
