In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
this beer tastes like vomit already
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
