This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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