weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
