they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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