a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Can't talk, ducks in the car
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
