i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
