you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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