Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize